Are You Lusting After Mr. Right??
When we think of the word lust a lot of bad images come to mind. We think of boys hiding behind screens of pornography, that girl from your high school that always winded up in the backseat of a boys’ car, and all of the boys our gazes have lingered on longer than is polite. However, though that type of lust is very real and evident in our culture today, that is not that same lust I am going to be discussing as among one of the seven deadly sins. There is a different lust that can affect even the most confident of girls and that is what I would like to call the “perfect man lust.”
Remember when you were in junior high or frankly your freshman year of college and you sat around with your girlfriends and talked about all the traits that you wanted in your future spouse. When you were younger you said things like great hair, good smile, has abs. And as you got older you might have said things like hardworking, funny, smart, and even godly. While this isn’t inherently bad, it’s actually pretty enjoyable, this practice can fill our minds with things that we think we need to have. It can make us start to idolize these qualities and overall idolize our idea of what relationships are.
We live in a world that is glorified by Nicholas Sparks romance novels, Say Yes To The Dress episodes, and the idea that if we can just find love our life will start to have meaning. We start to be brainwashed into thinking that our life is meaningless without a husband that fits all the checks on our lists. While marriage is a great and healthy desire, it can become problematic when we start lusting after the idea of having that perfect relationship more than we lust after our Creator . It can be far too easy to fill the void in our hearts with a cute boy who says all the right things. But once the excitement of a new relationship has faded, we might find ourselves still wondering what is missing.
Though I have never been in a relationship myself, I do realize that I have spent most of my adolescent life lusting after having a boyfriend or rather the idea of a boyfriend. I spent so many years feeling sorry for myself because I thought that not having a boyfriend meant there was something wrong with me. I would find myself getting frustrated with these boys I liked because they weren’t living up to my unrealistic standards. We as a culture have taught our teenage girls that if a boy doesn’t consider them to be worthy, they aren’t. That if they don’t have boys lusting after them constantly they are not worthy of being pursued. That is such a false statement. God is constantly in pursuit of our hearts. He is the one person that no matter how many times we’ve stained our pillow cases with tears of boys who don’t deserve our hearts and forgotten about Him, has still been there redirecting our gaze.
“Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it- Proverbs 4:23.”
Our hearts are more fragile than we realize. If we don’t take precaution to protect them we are going to have nothing to give to God. We need to be careful what exactly we do lust after because it can start to define us. I look back on all the boys I’ve liked and all the mistakes I’ve made and realize that even when I’ve been so mad at God for not giving me what I thought I wanted, He was protecting me from myself.
One of my biggest frustrations with girls today is that one of the biggest compliments has become, “Any boy would be so lucky to have you.” I’ve stopped telling my girlfriends this. Simply because we were created and destined to be so much more than someone’s Instagram Woman Crush Wednesday or even someone’s wife. Not that there isn’t pride in that; but God has plans for us, big plans when He can use us both with a man and without one. Now, I’m not saying that I’m not one of those girls that isn’t actively asking God to prepare me to be a wife and mother if he calls me to that, but I also want to work on desiring Him and growing to be a better person for my friends and family as well.
I want to get to the point where I won’t feel a twinge of sadness every time I watch a rom com because I envision myself as the heroine and I don’t have the handsome hero to match it. Because we are already the heroines of the greatest story ever written. The story where God loved us so much He died for us and has been cradling our hearts in His hand ever since. So the next time you are watching SYTD with your mom and you start lusting after having that perfect wedding and the perfect guy to match, remember this quote,
“Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet the needs only He can fill. Only when you make Jesus Christ your first love, will you be ready for a love story that reflects His glory.”
Taken By Choice
What is the point of waiting? That is what millions of teenage girls ask themselves every day as they are debating having sex with their boyfriends again, or maybe for the first time ever. Does anyone care that I wait? What is the big deal anyways?
“No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
The topic of sexual purity is something that has always been controversial not only among members of society, but among members of the church body as well. Churches tend to handle sexual purity by either never addressing it, or by having mothers force their daughters to listen to older woman chastise them for so much as looking in a boy’s direction. Nowadays it is not uncommon for mothers to suggest birth control to their daughters or even to supply them with condoms. How are girls supposed to decide what to believe in when they are being sent so many mixed signals? The Bible is the only place that can give us concrete evidence of God’s desire for us to wait. He alone would do anything to protect our hearts and bodies. If we trust Him with these things, we can count on His protection. Just like we can count on Him to wake us up each morning.
Society today likes to poke fun at virgins any chance they can get. They like to make it seem like virginity is a disease that everyone needs to be cured of to be cool. It teaches boys to be perverse and to feel like failures as virgins, and it teaches us as girls that we are unwanted, a prude, or a tease if we have not let a boy properly deflower us. But God’s word tells us that we are to wait until we are married. We are taken by God, and God only. Not by our boyfriends or society.
“ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”- Genesis 2:24
I’m not saying that if you abstain from having sex that God is going to send you your own personal knight in shining armor for waiting. I am saying that part of loving God is being obedient to His wishes first and foremost. He is just trying to protect us from the emotional and physical repercussions that can be a direct result of having sex before marriage. If you have had sex before marriage, I do wholeheartedly believe that you can be forgiven and be like a virgin again in God’s eyes. You just need to ask Him and commit to it.
Yes, this topic is a touchier subject in churches and among members of society, but it is an issue that needs to be addressed. The God of the universe just wants you to respect your body as much as He does. Think of yourself like a cup. Wouldn’t you rather be a china cup, a cup that is respected, beautiful, and held in high esteem than some reusable cup that you get at the 7/11? The choice is ultimately yours. If you want more information I would highly encourage you all to check out Dannah Gresh’s book And the Bride Wore White for an in-depth look at this issue.
Waiting For Mr. Right
“I am a Princess, not because I have a Prince. But because my father is the King and He is God. “
Being single is one of the hardest things to endure as a teenage girl. We all dream of that perfect guy God is going to bring us and until then we are plenty busy planning our nonexistent weddings on Pinterest. But doesn’t it all really suck? Especially when you are in college and your family members are constantly asking you, “So have you met any nice boys?” I have met tons of nice boys in college, but somehow I don’t think that’s what they mean. No one likes waiting for Mr. Right especially when they are afraid that he is never going to come into the picture.
It is hard to not have someone you like not be interested in you, or the wrong person be interested in you, or just plain have no one be interested in you. But take heart girls, God makes no mistakes. I used to be really upset in high school when guys I talked to or people I pursued relationships with never seemed to work out the way I wanted them to. But then I realized around my senior year how grateful I was to God for protecting me from the things I thought I wanted. So many of the people I liked and had spent nights crying about not liking me had turned out to be super gross and definitely far from anyone’s “prince charming”, much less my own. It says in Ecclesiastes that God’s timing is perfect.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” At 18 years of age I have plenty of time to meet the right boy, and so do all of you. We, unlike milk, won’t spoil or go bad from taking our time.
Sure sometimes it was rough not having a boyfriend in high school, but honestly it saved me from making a lot of bad mistakes and getting my heart broken. I think one of the awful things that girls have come to believe is that they need a boy to complete them, or that their key to happiness is having a boy call them pretty. Nothing is wrong with you if you aren’t dating anyone.
We don’t need to be afraid of the future when we know that God has already planned it out for us. One of my favorite verses of the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”
God has a plan for us right now, right this very moment. That means we need to be living our life right now and trying to fulfill God’s plan for us, not sitting around waiting for Mr. Right to ride in on his white horse. I know that waiting can be excruciatingly difficult but I’ve learned from experience that being unhappy when you are waiting won’t change anything. As the great C.S. Lewis once stated, “Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.”
We need to take the time when we are single to strengthen our relationship with God and with other people, and not to worry. I know as a girl it is so hard to not worry that God isn’t going to bring me anyone, but I have to trust that He will and He’s just not finished with me yet. It’s hard to worry when I take a second and realize that the God of the universe has me in His hands. One day I hope I will finally meet Mr. Right and we can ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after. Until I do meet Mr. Right, I intend to live every day trying to make this next quote become true so I am ready when I do.
“A girl’s heart should be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find her.”